


This Space Between Us

by Stardust_Steel



Series: The Sun and Moon [6]
Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: BAMF Vegeta, BAMF goku, Bottom Goku, Bottom Vegeta, Broly - Freeform, Choking, Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Headcanon, Hurt, M/M, Murder, Namek, PTSD, Saiyan Culture, Slow Burn, Smart Son Goku (Dragon Ball), Sweet, Top Goku, anxiety attack, battle husbands, jaco - Freeform, merus - Freeform, moro - Freeform, not the fun one, top vegeta, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27446710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stardust_Steel/pseuds/Stardust_Steel
Summary: Snapshots of Goku and Vegeta at various points in the series: how they affect each other, the differences between them, and how they make it work anyway. Non-chronological.1: Why Vegeta kills so callously, while Goku forgives so easily.2: To save Goku's life, Vegeta sacrifices his pride.3: Goku really, really hates needles. Bulma is vexed. Vegeta is bemused, but steps in to help him.4. At New Year's eve, Vegeta suffers a panic attack for unexpected reasons. *Sexual scenes, trigger warning for PTSD*5: Goku and Vegeta share a tender moment post-battle against Moro.Multi-chapter drabble fic exploring KakaVege dynamic, their respective pasts, their way of thought, fighting style, fears, and the way they see other people.For Kakavege week 2020.
Relationships: Son Goku & Vegeta (Dragon Ball), Son Goku/Vegeta (Dragon Ball)
Series: The Sun and Moon [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2148906
Comments: 106
Kudos: 131
Collections: Baby Buu’s Favs, Kakavege Week, Thunder & Lightning





	1. A- Agree to Disagree

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Agent_38_Scribs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agent_38_Scribs/gifts).



> I'm "stardust-steel" on Tumblr or "stardust_steel" on Instagram, I'd love to chat any db/kakavege/life things with you :) come find me!
> 
> This will be a drabble collection, where I explore the different dynamics of Goku and Vegeta's relationship, way of thought, fighting style, past, the way people see them, etc. Basically all the things that could make a long plot story but I've chosen to keep as fragments, hence the title. I can promise that you will always find Kakavege sweet things, and new ideas to explore, so it is worth a suscribe :)
> 
> Some of these snapshots may or may not make it into my fics - CIWYW, Agent Oblivion, or the art series.  
> If they don't, I feel the need to share them with GokuVegeta fans, before either I or it leaves.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was watching DBS Broly and I wondered why Vegeta had no qualms in killing Broly despite having "changed." Goku was clearly upset. So, this particular chapter was born.

**A - Agree to disagree**

They are arguing again. It is a common occurrence for the both of them, one baiting, the other responding. Goku usually enjoys the verbal spars between him and Vegeta as much as he enjoys their physical ones, but this time, he can’t shake off the actual irritation he feels.

Unresolved tension from recent events with Broly made them even more fiery than usual. This time, it is Goku picking a fight, a little disturbed at how ruthless the prince had been in almost disposing Broly, a lost saiyan who had only recently been discovered, resulting in one very big, murderous misunderstanding.

“I really don’t understand why you had to try and kill him, Vegeta!” Goku is trying to keep his voice level, but it is failing. “He’s another full-blooded saiyan, like us! It’s not like there’s many left.”

Vegeta sneers. “In case you didn’t notice, Kakarot, that big brute you’re so fond of was trying to kill **_me_ ** first.”

Goku ignores the jibe about being fond of Broly- that will be something he addresses another time. Vegeta is a master of swaying arguments from their main point, but Goku knows his ploys too well and refuses to humor the prince this time. “Broly didn’t know any better,” Goku argues, adding in the killer: “he was just like you when you first came to Earth, Vegeta.”

Predictably, Vegeta bristles. “Don’t compare me to him, I’m a prince-”

“Yes you are,” Goku agrees, “which means you should be protecting other saiyans, not killing them off!” 

Immediately the younger saiyan knows he has phrased it wrongly: Vegeta never likes being told what he should or should not do. He dislikes his royalty being challenged even less. The prince’s gaze becomes cool, condescending, and dangerous, reminiscent of the first time they had faced off on the cliffs. “Don’t you dare presume to tell me what royalty of any kind should be doing, Kakarot, especially when you know **_fuck all_ ** about saiyans and our heritage. Not that you’ve ever bothered to **_ask_ **.”

Goku winces. Yeah, okay, he walked into that one. He rapidly feels like he is losing thread of the argument, despite his earlier resolution to not be misled. “Okay, yeah,” Goku admits quietly. Give in a bit, then push back. “But that’s not the point, Vegeta.”

Vegeta smirks languidly at him. Taunting? It drives Goku mad. “Then what is the point?”

“That you were trying to kill someone- Broly, saiyan, whoever, it doesn’t matter!” Goku’s voice rises. “You didn’t even give him a chance. I thought you’d…”

“Changed?” Vegeta’s smile is dark. Goku doesn’t like that smile, it is a broken, bitter thing, and he dislikes even less that it is a look Vegeta wears well. “You always think too much of me, Kakarot. I’m a monster. Once a monster, always a monster. Destined for hell.”

Something in Goku snaps. He really really doesn’t like it when anyone speaks badly of the people he cares about. Especially Vegeta, even if it is Vegeta himself. 

Vegeta looks alarmed to suddenly find himself trapped between Goku and the cliffside. “Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Goku growls at the prince. “I don’t like it.” His hands bracket Vegeta’s shoulders on either side. Goku has never used the height difference between them before, but he presses his advantage now to cage the smaller saiyan in. Vegeta snarls, clearly not liking this, but Goku pays it no mind, only pressing his weight flush against the prince and trapping him further. _You want to fight me so much, then let’s fight where you hurt the most._

The smaller of the two gasps at the contact, but recovers quickly enough, face set in glare that would have set any lesser person on fire. “Kakarot, you **_insolent_ **-”

Goku touches his forehead to Vegeta’s softly. He hopes the meaningfulness behind the gesture would render the prince silent. True enough, Vegeta quiets down, staring at him with wide, vulnerable eyes. 

Vegeta had taught him this, some time back when Goku had suffered a panic attack and needed soothing: this saiyan gesture for comfort, for trust, for greeting people you care deeply for. To an outsider it would look physically intimate, and it is, but for saiyans, it is more than that. It says, _I see you as you are. I open myself to you. I care for you._

All the fight seems to go out of the prince, and Goku uses it to press his forehead against Vegeta’s a little firmer. He knows if Vegeta really wanted to, Vegeta could fight his way out. Which means there is a part of the prince that needed to hear this as much as Goku wanted to say it. “You won’t let yourself see or admit it, Vegeta, and you insist you’re a monster, but I know you’re better than you think you are. I **_know_ **.” 

This close, he can see everything that reflects in Vegeta’s eyes. All the fragile pride, the uncertainty. “All I’ve ever done is proven you wrong, Kakarot.”

Goku has to chuckle at that. Always wants to win, this one, even at his own detriment. “I don’t think so. I’ve been right about you loads of times, Vegeta.” The Earth saiyan drops his voice deliberately into a lower octave, in the way he knows makes Vegeta’s knees weak. “I know I’m right about this, too. Don’t try to fight me.”

The prince tilts his head up to meet Goku’s eyes, bringing their lips dangerously close. Even in this compromised position, he is trying to remain in control. “Aggressive today, aren’t we.”

Goku keeps the prince guessing. He breaks their eye contact, dipping his head low and nuzzling the prince’s neck, planting kisses along his throat. Vegeta hisses softly. “Only for my prince,” Goku whispers, watching as the compact frame before him _shudders_ at the word.

“Ah…” Vegeta’s whimper makes sets something on fire within Goku. 

Despite the frisson of sexual tension between them, and wanting to go a lot further, Goku knows now is not the time. Their argument needed a resolution. Vegeta seems to know this too, as he places his gloved palm on Goku’s sternum and pushes him away in a manner that is oddly gentle. Goku’s heart melts, and he allows himself to be pushed back only because of the softness of the gesture.

“Enough, Kakarot.” Vegeta’s voice is gruff, he sounds like he is still trying to catch his breath. “We need to sort this out, else we’ll forever be at each other’s throats.”

“...and that’s bad because…?” Goku asks cheekily. Being at Vegeta’s throat in sparring or… something more… is not a visual image he particularly disagrees with.

Vegeta flushes at his audacity. Goku beams- it is a cute look on the prince. As always, Vegeta rises to the challenge. “While I don’t particularly mind bashing your face into the ground, _or into other things_ …” the older saiyan pauses, lidding his eyes, giving Goku a onceover that makes Goku shiver this time, “we need to put this behind us.”

Much as the childish part of Goku just wants to play around, he recognizes the legendary levels of maturity and patience that Vegeta is displaying in wanting to resolve this instead of running the heck away. Past-Vegeta definitely would have. 

So Goku returns the consideration and nods. He flops down to the ground, sitting in a cross legged position.

Vegeta looks a little nonplussed at the way Goku is blinking up at him in a friendly, open manner, probably jarred at the very sudden mood whiplash between them.

The younger saiyan resorts to the tactic that almost always works with Vegeta, and that is to be as honest and upfront as possible so Vegeta cannot misread him.

“Vegeta, please,” Goku says softly, patting the ground in front of him in invitation. “I’m not… trying to pick a fight with you. I’m trying to understand.”

Vegeta looks like he is warring with himself silently. Goku waits patiently, keeping his eyes wide and his posture open. 

Sometimes the prince opens up better when Goku is aggressive, probably due to their saiyan nature and the inherent attraction towards a challenge. Sometimes a softer approach works better, though, and honestly, it is the approach Goku prefers, as he doesn’t think that the prince has had much gentleness in his life. It is always a guessing game for Goku, and that itself is a formidable challenge, like Vegeta.

Thankfully, this time softness seems to work. A cautious Vegeta approaches and sits to face him, their knees almost touching. Goku’s breath catches. Outside of rage-fuelled battles, Vegeta never does anything without careful deliberation, especially in the realm of physical contact. So for him to sit so close...

Slowly, slowly, Goku reaches one hand out, giving Vegeta plenty of time to back away should the prince decide to. He gently strokes Vegeta’s temple, the one he had almost bashed into a rock in their earlier fight, before resting his hand to cup the prince’s cheek.

That Vegeta allows him speaks volumes. Goku feels something in his chest expand. “Vegeta…”

“Kakarot.” The prince takes a deep breath. “Broly.” Goku waits. Vegeta doesn’t look away. “What is your interest in him?”

That… is not the conversation Goku is expecting, but he plays along. They may as well address this now. 

Were it any other time, he might have made fun of Vegeta’s apparent jealousy, but he instinctively knows not to right then. “Aw, Vegeta, it’s not like that,” Goku chuckles quietly. “I mean, sure, I think he’ll be a great sparring partner - he’s got so much raw power!” The prince’s expression twists. Goku rushes his next words: “But more than that, the poor guy’s gone through a lot, don’t you think? He deserves to live properly To get some chance at having some fun. Kinda like you.”

Vegeta bristles at the comparison once again, but Goku doesn’t let the prince go there, blindsiding him with his next words. “But - Broly isn’t you. You’re the only one I want, as my rival, as the prince of my heart, Vegeta. ” Goku’s tone is teasing, but his eyes are serious. 

Vegeta’s face turns red, scoffing at Goku’s cheesy choice of words, but trapped in Goku’s gentle grasp, he cannot hide anywhere, and does not try. Goku lets the moment and words sink in. 

But Goku is not the kind of person who sacrifices his beliefs even for his loved ones. He offers up quietly: “...I’m not happy that you almost tried to kill Broly, though.”

Give and take, this game between them. As equals, Goku expects no less from Vegeta, so he waits for the prince’s honesty in turn.

“...I know you’re disappointed.” Vegeta’s tone is quiet, too, but firm, unapologetic. “But I have no regrets about trying to kill him. If we turn back time and everything were to repeat, I would do it again.”

Goku frowns, mouth turning down at the corners, and this time it is Vegeta who reaches out, flicking his bangs aside lightly. The younger saiyan blinks a little at the gesture, heart warming a bit even as he drops his hand away from Vegeta’s cheek to rest on the prince’s knee. “Why, though?” Goku asks.

“Kakarot, if Broly had somehow managed to kill me under Paragus’ orders- not that he stood a chance,” Vegeta scoffs, and Goku has to smile a bit at the show of very-Vegeta-like arrogance. “Who do you think he would have gone after next? Bulma, Bulla, Trunks, without a doubt.” 

_Oh._ The twin feelings of protectiveness for his oldest friend’s family and his natural tendency to see the best in others war within Goku. “I don’t think Broly’s like that, Vegeta. He was going after you because his father told him to. He wouldn’t have gone after your family.”

Something in the prince’s face tightens. “You don’t know that for sure. And unlike you, I won’t take that chance, Kakarot. I won’t allow it. I can’t allow it. Not after - everything... I lost... Everything I've done... and still, somehow, through some madness I found **this**... I can't - I can’t even **chance** it.” Vegeta’s face suddenly turns cold, jaw clenching, and he leans away from Goku, dislodging the hand that rests on his knee. “If that makes me different, and **_bad_ **to you, so be it.”

Goku immediately misses their proximity. He is also starting to realise, slowly, that this matter is something he and Vegeta might never see eye-to-eye on. 

Okay. He can understand Vegeta’s desire to protect the things he had found so hard to come by, but… “Don’t you think that having someone stronger to keep us on our toes is a good thing?” Goku risks asking. “Especially when they become one of the good guys, sooner or later? Isn’t it worth it?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“...Forget it.” Vegeta shakes his head, moving as if to get up. Goku catches the prince’s wrist before he can run. “Hey,” the younger saiyan says pleadingly, both with his eyes and his voice. “Vegeta, c’mon, we got this far - let’s not stop here, yeah? I really… want to understand...” 

Something in Goku’s face must have shown his sincerity, as Vegeta deflates and stops trying to struggle. “Kakarot… you and I see the world very differently,” Vegeta rubs his eyes. “Surely you realise this. For you, someone stronger is an exciting step to the next level. A new enemy is an adventure. Hell, being defeated can even be a good thing, like you were with Beerus. That… is very admirable. Very... saiyan of you.” 

The prince looks pained by the admission. Goku doesn’t see what is so admirable about it, it is just what he feels, it doesn’t make him better or worse than anyone else. But he respects Vegeta enough not to question it, so he waits. 

The prince’s tone drops to a whisper. Like he doesn't want to say this, like he would never say this, except that they were equals who deserve the truth ffrom eachother, and the first step is to admit it to themselves. “For all my life, Kakarot, someone stronger is someone who can and **_will_ ** humiliate me. They will **_hurt_ **me, or hurt the people I need to protect. So I will never… be able to think that someone stronger is good. I will never want to. I have no desire to keep hanging around anyone who has the potential and ability to kill me.”

Goku stays quiet as he processes that. It is sad to hear somewhat, the hard life Vegeta has been through, and he tries to keep the sympathy away from his eyes, because if there is anything the prince cannot stand, it is pity.

“Okay. I get that.” Vegeta looks almost surprised. But Goku isn’t done, he has to press another question. “But Vegeta, sometimes bad people are just people who don’t know any better… like Broly… like you. If they don’t get a chance, isn’t it a waste to just kill them off? All that potential, all the good they could have done.” _All the good you could have done and you do_ , Goku wills the prince to understand. Would have been a waste to lose all that.

To his credit, Vegeta seems to hear the unspoken words instead of focusing on the comparison. “You got lucky with me, Kakarot. Anyone with half a brain would have killed me off the first time we met.”

The idea makes Goku’s skin crawl. The mental image feels so hateful, too- **_wrong_ **. Like a mistake, like missed opportunity, like heartbreak. Where would Goku be now if he had made that choice then, if Vegeta wasn’t in front of him now? 

Vegeta sees the way the younger saiyan’s face twists and chuckles. “Kakarot… You’re too soft for your own good. You see the good in everyone, you give everyone a chance, even Frieza.” Goku ignored the soft barb. “You’re too trusting. It’s a miracle you made it this far.”

“I did technically die twice,” Goku reminds the prince playfully. 

“So did I, so we’re even, I suppose,” Vegeta says wryly. “My point still sta-”

For the second time that day, Goku surprises the prince into silence. He draws nearer to Vegeta, once again bringing their foreheads close enough to almost touch. “Giving everyone a chance is different from trusting everyone,” Goku corrects. What a role reversal, him correcting Vegeta. “I give them a chance. I **_trust_ ** you. I’d trust you with anything, I believe in **_you_ **, Vegeta. There’s a difference.”

Vegeta’s breath hitches, and this time Goku is fairly sure it has nothing to do with their proximity.

“You trust me too much, Kakarot,” the prince whispers. There’s an odd note of uncertainty in his voice that Goku doesn’t like. 

“Nah,” Goku smiles, his eyes meeting Vegeta’s with all the fondness he feels, all the faith. “It’s just right.” **_This is just right_ **. 

And with those words it is like Vegeta… opens to him, the walls melting away, his eyes baring the complete adoration and devotion for Goku that Goku knows is there, that Bulma knew was there before either of them did. 

“You’re always too hard on yourself, you know,” Goku says softly, holding the prince’s gaze. _Don’t look away now, please._ This strange new turf between them still had to be explored. “We think differently, but that doesn’t mean either of us are wrong, or bad. We’re just us, saiyans with different views.” 

“And what happens the next time our views clash, Kakarot?” Vegeta asks, his voice quiet, steely. “The next time an enemy shows up and threatens to kill everyone. I’m not going to start showing mercy and be all forgiving just because you are.”

“Well… we’ll sort it out. You’re gonna have to get stronger than me to get the final say, and I’ll have to get stronger than you to win too!” Goku grins, trying to cajole his rival, trying to bring some warmth into their conversation. 

It works. Vegeta smirks a bit at his audacity and challenge. “As if I’d ever let you win, clown.”

Goku sighs internally in relief, grateful they had this dynamic. He lets his head fall back slightly. “Ah well… we’ve always been very different. I guess we can at least agree that we both love a good challenge, anything for a good fight!”

Goku’d meant it as a statement, not a question, but Vegeta does a confusing thing where he both tries to avert his eyes and keep looking back. It’s funny and awfully sad and extremely cute, and Goku’s had Pan to compare with in the cuteness factor. 

“Kakarot...” Vegeta takes a deep breath. Goku waits for it, not pushing, understanding instinctively that whatever the proud saiyan is about to say would be hard for him. He is rewarded when Vegeta continues. “About that... Saiyans supposedly love fighting for its own sake. And yet… despite being the prince, there was a long period of my life when I thought I could never appreciate fighting for the pure joy of it again—not after what I’d done, and what I’d seen others do, just to survive.”

“But you...the first time we fought, you changed that for me. Even in a moment so tense and bordering on life and death, it was unmistakable how much you enjoyed fighting. It made me… for the first time, I wanted to fight for the sake of the challenge. I wanted to win, not because it was the only way to live, but to actually win. And even when I lost…” Goku tries to speak, wants to point out that their first fight had never been resolved, three against one, no less, but Vegeta talks over him, “...I didn’t see death, I saw— possibility. I swore the next time that I would win. And Kakarot, every time I have seen you fight since, it has been an act of love and excitement. You’re not a destroyer - you fight for the thrill of it. The way a true saiyan would. And you reignited that for me, in a way I never thought I’d live to see.” 

“You put too much in what a real saiyan would do,” Goku says gently. “You’re saiyan, Vegeta, you’re the prince of all saiyans, in fact, so what you do stands as what a saiyan does, too. We’re not one mould. We can’t all have been the same. ”

“...True.” Finally Vegeta’s gaze flickers away, though his head remains high. He looks pained. “What I’m trying to say is… Thank you.”

That floors Goku. 

There are many things Goku wants to reply, but he senses that the entire thought that hadn’t been easy for Vegeta to say aloud—probably something that hadn’t been easy for the proud prince to admit even to himself, let alone to look at head-on long enough to form entire sentences. That kind of courage deserves to be acknowledged.

“That’s… you’re crediting me too much Vegeta.” Goku shakes his head. “I think you’re not giving yourself enough credit.” 

“For what, my status as King of Bad Decisions and spectacular ability to fuck things up?” The tilt of Vegeta’s lips is too dark to be considered a smile, even if it is in the neighborhood of one. 

Goku winces. There it is, that curious warring force Vegeta has within himself that Goku’s glimpsed over the years - the fierce arrogance and fiery pride, faced off with some unhealthy amounts of self deprecation. Goku sees it, Goku knows it, Goku’s never been able to talk about it because it isn’t his place, but now is the time. This is... as honest as Vegeta would probably ever get with him, so Goku decides to be honest in turn, and hopes fervently it won’t send the flighty prince running, or alternately blasting him in the face. 

“No, you don’t give yourself enough credit for your ability to adapt and learn and grow.” Goku scoots a little closer. “You’ve changed me too, you know. I didn’t want to learn that I was a saiyan, I didn’t like what it meant, but you showed me that there’s more to us than just being bloodthirsty...”

“-through what, crushing all of your bones and trying to kill your firstborn?” Vegeta interrupts.

“No!” Goku flails a bit, “Argh, give me a second, Vegeta, I’m not so good with words!” And finally that smirk finally has enough pieces to be considered whole. Goku’s mouth works for a bit before he gives up trying to say the right thing, and just says what he feels. “Honestly, Vegeta, after I met you, I learnt saiyans could be not just cruel, but proud, and strong, and and adaptable and just… amazing." Goku smiles at Vegeta's flushing, secretly happy that he seems to be the only one able to bring that about. "I can’t explain it like you do, but - I honestly don’t know, if our places had been switched, if I’d have been able to be like you.”

“...like me?” Goku has to hand it to Vegeta, he manages to pack more skepticism and sarcasm in two words that most people ever manage in their lifetime.

“Survive all that-” Goku waves one hand unhelpfully to encompass anything and everything “-and...grow and learn, and still be good and still be **_here_ **, like you are. It’s amazing.”

It didn’t come out quite as Goku had wanted it. It had sounded better in his head than it probably is, but most of the things he did follows that pattern, and he’d made it this far, so oh well.

“Now who’s not giving themselves enough credit?” Vegeta snorts. 

Goku chuckles, but dogs on. “I mean it, Vegeta, if our places had been switched, I dunno if I’d have had the same result.”

Vegeta is quiet for a bit.. Goku is almost afraid to guess what he is thinking, but then: “...the thought of you as royalty is a very appalling one, Kakarot.”

“- **meanie** ,” Goku pouts, but he follows it up with a smile to acknowledge the point. 

They stay gazing at each other for a moment longer, and slowly the electric tension from earlier returns, saturating the air. In the proximity, something warmer and softer than before feels like it is blossoming, and Goku doesn’t want to look away. 

Vegeta, thank Kami, doesn’t.

One gloved hand comes to graze the back of the younger saiyan’s neck. Goku sighs into the tender touch, despite the vulnerability the motion exposes him to, even as he finally presses their foreheads close together, one arm circling the prince’s waist.

Whatever their differences, even if they believe in different things, he trusts Vegeta. Goku sees the goodness in him. They hurt each other to make each other stronger, and even if they see things differently, when push comes to shove, they would be there for each other. In the end, that is what truly matters. Goku fights for the challenge, Vegeta fights for survival. Goku dies to protect, Vegeta both dies and kills for it.

The two saiyans stay like that for a while, as the sky darkens overhead with the first pinpricks of starlight, enjoying the calming pressure of each other's touch. Neither make the move to turn it into anything more sexual, for the moment just basking in the warmth and the complete trust. And while he and Vegeta did not come to an agreement, and probably might never, Goku feels they understand each other a little better. 

Goku invented "I'm baby" -> this is the image in my head when Goku sits down and blinks up at Vegeta in open, friendly way. How can anyone not melt at that baby face :'D

The Prince and the Prince Consort <3 second image credits to @alice413, please follow and support her work :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I headcanon that saiyans touch each other's forehead in greeting, in comfort, in happiness, the way humans hug. It's inspired by the Athosian tradition from Stargate Atlantis.
> 
> 2\. If you enjoyed that enough to make you smile, please review>
> 
> Thanks to Agent_38_Scribs in particular for going back and forth with me very deeply on why Vegeta and Goku fight , who’s the bottom, who’s the real saiyan (you're amazing!!!) agentpigeonton, evilkitten3 & thewingedlady for continued thoughtful debates, spamming fanart of Goku Black, same dark humor and beta-ing respectively <3 love you all


	2. B- Beg for him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta sacrifices his pride to save Goku's life, much to collective shock.

**B- Beg for him**

_ Kakarot. Kakarot.  _

Vegeta couldn’t think with the blood pounding in his ears. Every sense was attuned to the younger saiyan bleeding out in his arms. Dimly he was aware of Piccolo’s quick, silent feet approaching, and urgent voices in the background, but he paid them no mind. Even when hands tugged at him, he refused to let them take Kakarot. 

_ No. _ He wouldn’t trust Kakarot’s safety with anyone else, right then.

Vegeta looked up in desperation at the altar. The old, insect like lady who stood there smirked at their little group, eyes glinting. 

Instantly, the prince was on guard. He recognized that look, having worn it himself through most of his years. That was the cruel smile of someone who lived through so much pain that they absolutely had to pass it on to other people, just to stay marginally sane.

“You don’t remember me, do you,  _ Prince  _ Vegeta.” Vegeta’s hackles rose at the sneer of her tone on his title. “You murdered my entire family and people, in the time it takes to raise a finger.”

The most despicable thing was, Vegeta absolutely did not remember.

Then, a sliver of memory. Planet Arlia. Humanoid creatures with pincers and carapace tough enough to break his teeth. Himself and Nappa ruminating how bland and untasty their blood was, and that even dead, these creatures were useless. 

A much younger looking version of the woman in front of him, staring up in fear.

Vegeta’s decrepit little heart squeezed. Of all the times his past had to come kick him in the ass, this had to be one of them.

“Arlia,” he breathed out. Gohan and Piccolo were both looking at him for answers, but Vegeta had nothing to give.

The old Arlian woman cackled. “So you do remember me,” she sing-songs. “Should I be honored? A murderer like you, remembering a little old lady like me? My name is Kurenai, wretched one.”

Anger. Remorse.Self hatred. Vegeta shook his head, trying to focus.  _ I don’t have the time for this. _ “My companion is badly injured,” Vegeta stated. “We need your help to heal him.” He willed his voice to sound strong rather than shaky. Trying not to reveal the utter panic he was feeling. They had no time for an anxious breakdown.  **_Kakarot_ ** had no time. 

Kurenai sent an assessing glance towards them, her eyes calculating and glinting with the edge of something wicked. As he met her gaze dead on, Vegeta realised he had subconsciously drawn Kakarot's weak body closer to his own in a protective gesture. All it really succeeded in doing was shifting the power dynamic of the room- the old lady knew she had the dominating hand here. 

In quiet dread, the prince knew what she was going to say before it was said. 

“I refuse.” Kurenai’s tone was smug, her eyes malicious. “I will not help.”

“What?!” Even as he glared, Vegeta’s mind was already racing through other alternatives, coming rapidly to the conclusion that his getting through this blasted woman in the next five minutes was their only ticket to save Kakarot. In his agitation, he accidentally jostled the body in his arms slightly. Kakarot let out a small whimper, his head lolling to rest gently against the curve of Vegeta’s neck.

Vegeta would never have described himself as particularly protective or caring. But right at that moment in time, with Kakarot in such a vulnerable state, he rather thought he understood what it was like to care deeply about someone and not be able to do a thing about it.

Vegeta lifted his eyes - now was not the time to indulge and entertain his confused emotions. He schooled his face into something less penetrable, but Kurenai had clearly caught on to his distress, and for whatever reason her look shifted to one of utter glee.

In the periphery, Piccolo stepped forward. The Arlian woman didn’t pay him a whit of attention, continuing to stare down Vegeta. “Why are you refusing to heal an innocent?” Piccolo demanded brusquely, his tone uncharacteristically argumentative. “As a healer, you’re supposed to be impartial.” __

Even in his fury, dread began to slither. Vegeta wasn’t stupid: he recognised petty vengeance when he saw it. He could already tell what this was about.

The old lady tittered. “He may be innocent,” she jerked her head towards Goku, “but  **_the one holding him_ ** is not.”

There it was.

Vegeta would be utterly livid (he would pretend it was at her, but really, at his damn stupid blasted wicked self) if he wasn’t so anxious. Kakarot’s body was trembling in his grasp, the younger saiyan’s breath raggedy and weak and oh Kami why did it feel like Vegeta was the one dying? 

“Kurenai.  **_He_ ** isn’t me!” On a visceral level Vegeta was aware that raising his voice wouldn’t get them anywhere, but it was so hard to control his temper when Kakarot’s life was literally fading in his hands. “He is  **_innocent,_ ** **he’s done you no wrong.”**

Kurenai scoffed. “True,but Prince Vegeta, a filthy murderer like you is the one asking. So I refuse.” 

Piccolo had clearly put together the situation. To his credit the Namekian wasn’t even fazed, only questioning in his characteristically steady manner: “So you would needlessly condemn an innocent to his death, to take revenge upon the guilty?”

The Arlian woman was suddenly up in his face. “Don’t you take dare pass judgment on me,” she hissed at the Namekian, who did not give ground. “You have no understanding of what this despicable trash put me through. He made me watch my people burn, made me stand in absolute helplessness as my loved ones died in front of me. He destroyed my entire planet, and he did it with a laugh and no regrets. HE only remembers me because he needs something!”

“I understand your pain, Kurenai.” Gohan’s voice was polite, Vegeta almost had the hysterical urge to laugh at how well Chichi had apparently brought up the man.“But my father has nothing to do with what Vegeta has done.”

Kurenai gave him her insane smirk. Vegeta hated how much he could see of himself in that expression.“Lies. I can see how much he cares for the dying one. For that, he shall suffer watching them perish.”

Anger began to give way to desperation.

“Kakarot’s innocent,” Vegeta insisted. His voice cracked humiliatingly, but now was not the time to entertain his wounded pride. Not with Kakarot dying right in his arms. “And...his death would  be a great loss to the universe.”

_ Please,  _ the prince almost said, but his pride stopped him,  _ please don’t let him suffer for my mistakes. _

The old lady across him laughed bitterly. “The universe! How rich!” Her mirth morphed into a broken sneer. “You think I care about the universe?  **_My_ ** universe was my family and my people- and you destroyed it all, aeons ago!” Her eyes glinted with manic sorrow. “Funny, is it not, how the tables have turned? Your turn, Prince Vegeta.  _ Feel  _ the pain you inflicted on me.  **_Feel what you made me feel, all those years ago_ ** _. _ And when he dies, tell me how  **_you_ ** like it.” She let out a mad laugh.  _ “ _ **_I want to see you suffer and your heart break, the way you made me suffer.”_ **

No. 

No, this couldn’t happen. Vegeta wouldn’t allow it. He had done a lot of horrible things in his life. He had even actively tried to kill Kakarot himself. But he couldn’t let himself be the cause of Kakarot’s death. 

_ Not like this. _

Vegeta shut his eyes. Kakarot’s breath fluttered weakly against his neck.

“Kurenai, please,” the prince heard himself say, as if from faraway. “Please heal Kakarot. My sins are not his to bear. Please don’t let him suffer for it.”

Opening his eyes, Vegeta allowed himself a vindictive moment to revel at the shock in the Arlian woman’s gaze. 

To her credit, Kurenai recovered quickly, her malice returning with the swiftness and volatility of a winter storm cloud. “I like hearing you beg, Prince Vegeta. It suits filth like you.” The arlian smiled crazily at him. “Louder. Let the whole universe hear how the proud murderer begs for his victim’s forgiveness.”

Vegeta only spared it a second of thought.

Could he, the haughty prince of all saiyans, really sacrifice his pride and lower himself to beg just to save this naive, dumbass clown that was his rival?

In the end, it was an easy choice. Vegeta was never one to do anything by half measures. And in this moment he could admit Kakarot was worth more than halves, worth more than anything of the tattered remains of Vegeta’s pride. To collective shock, the prince dropped to his knees, careful not to jostle Kakarot. 

“Please, Kurenai.” His voice came out uncharacteristically small and desperate. “Please heal Kakarot. Take your revenge on me in any way you like afterwards. Torture me. Kill me if it satisfies your need for vengeance. I will accept it - I will not fight it.” 

Kakarot made a small sound of protest, despite his eyes being half-lidded in pain, but Vegeta didn’t tear his gaze from Kurenai. Opinions from dying idiots were automatically discounted. “Please — he is everything that is good. Everything that is the opposite of me. Please don’t… let him pay for my mistakes.” Vegeta’s voice shook. “Please.”

Kurenai was still smiling her insane, wretched smile, but there was a hint of a frown on her wasted features. 

"I won't let you die for my mistakes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TBC. 
> 
> My first piece of art for my own fics :) I know it isn't much, but I am trying >< Please be kind!  
> This is a short snippet of what I have planned for the next chapter of Call It What You Want. I needed to get it out before something happens. Comments, speculations, what you want to see, all welcome.
> 
> I'm "stardust-steel" on Tumblr or "stardust_steel" on Instagram, I'd love to chat any db/kakavege/life things with you :) I also post my art there. Come find me!


	3. C- Comfort, the saiyan way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goku is terrified of needles. Bulma is not amused. Vegeta is bemused, but tries to help in his own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because some people were asking the back story of Goku's panic attack in Chapter 1.
> 
> I'm "stardust-steel" on Tumblr or "stardust_steel" on Instagram, I'd love to chat any db/kakavege/life things with you and also post my art there :) come find me!
> 
> I wrote the final bit listening to Game of Thrones Main Theme (acoustic) from Boyce Avenue, if you're a music lover, give it a go to set the mood :)

**C- Comfort, the saiyan way**

**“No.”**

Kakarot shook his head, backing away. He looked completely freaked out. To Vegeta, it seemed that the younger saiyan’s abnormal pallor had become increasingly more noticeable as he looked on at the object in Bulma’s hand.

“Goku, for goodness’ sake, we’ve been over this!” Bulma said exasperatedly. “It’s just a needle, It’s not going to hurt you!”

“It’s sharp, and pointy, and it’s,” Kakarot waved a hand, as if that explained anything and everything. Bulma looked increasingly vexed; Vegeta looked on in slight bemusement. “Why can’t we just take Vegeta’s blood sample?!”

“I already have, Goku,” Bulma said, clearly trying to be patient. “I have no idea if you two have the same blood type, if saiyans even _have_ different blood types. That’s why I need to test it, or his blood or the vaccine we’re developing may well kill you.”

Kakarot honestly looked like he preferred that to the alternative. “There’s got to be another way, Bulma, please?”

Bulma sighed at the saiyan’s desperate tone. “Goku, I need to take your blood sample. This needle is the only way I can do it,” she paused, “unless I knock you out, or punch you until you bleed.” 

“I can do that,” Vegeta offered, in the spirit of generosity.

“Can we do that?” Kakarot asked at the same time, voice full of hope.

“ **No!** ” Bulma levelled a warning glare at them both.

“Why not?” Kakarot whined.

“Since Kakarot’s fine with it, I’m more than happy to oblige,” Vegeta agreed, smirking at Bulma’s obviously-growing ire. In his periphery, he caught the glance that the younger saiyan gave him, and the grateful, wide puppy eyes.

It was a look which made Vegeta feel all sorts of weird inside. Unsure how to react, the prince chose to ignore it.

Bulma looked between them, realized their utter seriousness, then threw her hands in the air. “Oh my god, **saiyans**! You knuckleheads will never stop surprising me with your stupidity!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Vegeta said dryly. Coming from a genius like Bulma, it technically was, or at least, not the insult it could have been. Not that he would ever verbalise that thought in public.

“Goku, are you seriously telling me you prefer to get the living daylights punched out of you over a simple pinprick?” Bulma asked exasperatedly, ignoring Vegeta. “I doubt you would even feel any pain, with your tough saiyan skin!”

“I don’t care about the pain.” Kakarot looked so desperate it was almost cute…

...what? Vegeta quickly discarded that thought, rewriting the narrative in his head.

“I just really really don’t want to - eep,” he shrank away, almost whimpering as Bulma stepped forward with needle in hand. “Bulma, **please**. I really don’t want- **that**.”

“Goku,” Bulma sighed, looking into her best friend’s best puppy dog eyes. Vegeta knew she always had a soft spot for that look. Perhaps even the prince himself did. It was hard not to acquiesce when someone so usually carefree became so difficult. 

Actually, yes. Seeing Kakarot like this was a little… strange. Vegeta had been too busy trolling Bulma (Trunks’ penchant for mischief was inherited from one of his parents, and contrary to popular belief, it wasn’t his mother) that he had been distracted, but it was actually a bit disturbing. 

The idea of carefree, reckless Kakarot, his annoying miracle-worker of a rival who never lacked courage on the battlefield, whose conviction and optimism was to the point that they sometimes questioned his sanity, being **this** scared of something so harmless, made Vegeta feel a little… off. 

Kakarot did look terrified. Not in a comical way. 

“Bulma.” Vegeta caught her beautiful cerulean eyes, shaking his head minutely. “I’ll deal with this.”

Bulma frowned, looking skeptical. “By knocking him out?” she asked, suspicious.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. “You just need a blood sample, right? The end justifies the means.”

Bulma winced. Vegeta knew her well enough to understand that expression. She was a creature of both strong emotion and of logic, and that look meant that she was acquiescing to his logic without agreeing to the moral value behind it. 

“... please don’t let it get too messy,” she said in an undertone, handing Vegeta the needle. “Would be better if you can convince him to just accept this time - we will probably need to do this again, at vaccinate him at some point.”

“Hn.” Vegeta tilted his head. He hadn’t considered that.

Bulma left the infirmary room, quietly shutting the door behind her. Vegeta turned back to Kakarot, momentarily stumped to find himself on the receiving end of a very mixed, almost mistrustful look from the younger saiyan. 

“You’re not going to use that - thing on me, right?” Kakarot asked suspiciously. “I’d really rather fight you.”

Vegeta let out a snort. Everything went back to fighting. Ever the saiyan, this little idiot that was his rival. It was almost endearing. “As appealing as the idea of smacking you into next week sounds, Kakarot, I don’t think that would work for our purposes. The blood should be clean, and I doubt I can draw the amount Bulma needs.”

Kakarot continued to watch him warily. “Vegeta,” his voice was a plea, “I really don’t…”

The younger saiyan looked… agitated. Desperate. Eyes wide and searching, minute trembling suggesting the desire to take flight or teleport away at any second. Vegeta had to give it to him, were it the prince himself in a position he was extremely uncomfortable in, he couldn’t guarantee that he wouldn’t already have IT’ed the hell away.

Vegeta couldn’t ever recall seeing Kakarot like this. Playfully shaking in fear from humoring his wife’s wrath, yes. Trembling and radiating silent, cold fury, yes. But never like this. 

Bulma had probably anticipated all this, which explained why she had been reluctant to approach the younger saiyan earlier, until it was absolutely necessary. But Vegeta’s acute saiyan senses went further than visual cues. The prince could even pick up the scent of fear in the air, hear Kakarot’s short, sharp intake of breath as he surveyed the object of his distress. It made the seemingly silly fear of needles less pathetic and more palpable.

Vegeta tilted his head, studying the younger saiyan. 

“You’re… really terrified, aren’t you?” Vegeta asked. At Kakarot’s timid little nod, something seemed to click.

Vegeta had been aware that Kakarot was afraid of needles. He vaguely recalled making this observation on Namek, after the fight with Ginyu.When his alliance with their team had still been tenuous, and the prince had only helped Krillin and the then-much younger Gohan put Kakarot in the healing tank simply because the prince needed him to defeat Frieza. A means to an end. Functional purposes only, to be disposed of after function is served.

How things have changed. 

Maybe some time long in the past, Vegeta would have made fun of Kakarot’s clear distress. But the past was not the now. In their entire history and time fighting together, unless it had been for the exclusive purposes of goading for a spar, Kakarot had never made fun of Vegeta for his own insecurities of being penultimate in strength, or his fears, or his nightmares.

And there had been plenty of reason and occasions to do so, times when Vegeta had been reckless, or cruel, or vicious to the other saiyan, and an “I told you so” or a taunt would have been more than warranted. But silly soft Kakarot had never done anything of the sort, despite the justice it would have been. Despite being the person most justified to do it.

And as malevolent and decrepit as Vegeta’s heart was, well, that... moved him.

“It’s hard to believe you’re my rival sometimes,” Vegeta half-heartedly jibed, but his next question was serious. “Did anything happen to you in the past, Kakarot? Anything to make you this scared needles of all things, something so silly and harmless?” The words were harsh but the intention was masked. Perhaps if Vegeta could understand the source of the fear, he could help Kakarot find a way to circumvent it.

Not that that always worked. The prince hated worms for good reason, and would probably never get over it - something he would rather not think about in that moment.

“I dunno. No.” Kakarot grimaced, voice low. “I just really, really don’t like needles.”

The prince tilted his head, remembering that strange time in HFIL when they faced Janemba and Kakarot literally flew into a pit of needles to catch him in his freefall. Death had felt like a dream. Even now, Vegeta wasn’t sure that that fight had actually happened, except for the fact that Kakarot had been there with him. 

“Didn’t you once fly into a pit of needles to -” Vegeta hesitated, throat tight, “get us away from Janemba?” He didn’t want to say it, but Kakarot had technically saved the prince, as he had done minutes before, back then. It had been a blow to Vegeta’s pride, but in a weird twist of saiyan logic, if anyone at all was to be allowed to help or save him, only his rival would be. In some strange way, that was a nod of respect to Kakarot, both his physical prowess and his heart.

Kakarot, oblivious to the spiel of Vegeta’s merry little overthinking brain, scratched the back of his head. “...Yeah?”

“And?” Vegeta waved one gloved hand. “That was a massive pit of needles, Kakarot. You didn’t seem to have trouble back then.”

“That was different.”

“Different in the way that the needles were gargantuan?” The prince couldn’t stop the flash of fond amusement as he watched Kakarot shudder at his words.

“No,” Kakarot said, eyes wide and guileless, “different because it was for you.” 

...screw Kakarot. Screw him and his stupid, earnest, loving, pure, innocent little ways.

Vegeta sighed, coming to a decision. He places the needle down on the table nearby. “Come here, Kakarot.”

Kakarot shrank back. “No! Not if you’re going to jab me with that- thing!”

“I’m not going to.” Kakarot shot him a look of such pure disbelief that Vegeta had to amend his words. “Not yet. I’m not going to trick you, Kakarot.”

Kakarot looked at him warily for a heartbeat longer, before nodding his head. “...okay.”

Vegeta blinked, startled. “Just like that?” It was that easy?

Kakarot shrugs. “I trust you, Vegeta,” he said simply. 

Vegeta inhaled sharply at those words, swallowing his response. _Like I’ve never stabbed you in the back, you clown. Like I’ve never turned away from you. Like I’ve never laughed at your pain._ This man will never, ever cease to surprise him.

Kakarot approached him slowly, despite the short distance between them. Vegeta waited in complete silence, knowing that this is one of those moments where actions would do more to bridge trust than words could, and even more importantly, it had to be willingly given by the other party.

Once Kakarot was within range, Vegeta hesitantly reached out a gloved hand. Kakarot, perhaps misunderstanding the prince’s intentions, caught it in his palm. 

Vegeta flushed slightly, and in any other circumstance would have smacked away the contact. But he recognised this was not the time, not when the air was thick with Kakarot’s anxiety, not when it was important to bridge this little bit of faith between them. 

And so, he held Kakarot’s gaze. The younger saiyan looked a little confused, but also a little happy, as it was rare for Vegeta to initiate any kind of affectionate physical contact between them. Lightly squeezing the uncovered palm, Vegeta trailed his right hand up Kakarot’s arm, to rest it on the nape of his neck. The other hand he placed lightly on Kakarot’s shoulder. This close, he could see the exact moment when Kakarot’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Don’t,” Vegeta muttered, when Kakarot opened his mouth, presumably to ask. “You said you trust me, so just -” _trust me,_ was the request, but Vegeta found himself unable to finish those words, not with his dark past and all the shame he carried and more so all the wrongs he’d done to this man before him, so he didn’t. 

But Kakarot seemed to understand, as he always did, what Vegeta couldn’t say. The younger saiyan smiled at him and with complete serenity _shut his eyes,_ despite the needle being right there in their proximity. Vegeta’s breath caught at the gesture of faith. 

You… idiot, Kakarot. You mind-numbing, pure hearted, trusting fool. Too kind, too good for your own good.

You deserve this.

Vegeta bridged the gap between them, touching his forehead to Kakarot’s gently. It was the saiyan equivalent of a hug, a gesture for giving comfort, for trust, for greeting someone deeply cared for. The prince was aware that it would look physically intimate to a human, and on a visceral level it was, but between saiyans, it was more than that. It told a story of trust and openness.

_I see you as you are. I open myself to you. I care for you. You are safe with me._

It had been a long time since Vegeta had done this with another living being, and practically never had he initiated it himself. King Vegeta the third had only given his son this rarely, and the final time had been when Vegeta was about to board Frieza’s ship. 

The last time he has seen his father before their planet became stardust.

Kakarot couldn’t possibly be aware of the symbolism behind the gesture, but it seemed to work anyway. There was a gentle exhale, and tension bleeded out of the younger saiyan, the smile becoming a fuller, more serene one. His hands came up of their own accord to rest behind Vegeta’s neck and shoulder blade, completing their strange embrace.

Kakarot then pressed his forehead more deeply to Vegeta’s, subconsciously seeking more comfort. The increase in pressure caused the prince to shiver . The sensation of the spiky mess of bangs against his forehead was unusual, but not unwelcome.

Vegeta never thought he would have this again. Never even thought about having it again- his father had been the last. Being able to share this with another saiyan, and with someone like - Kakarot - who held such a significant place in the prince’’s life was… indescribable. it was… warming and wonderful and all sorts of things Vegeta would rather not think about right now. 

But it was also **so** far out of Vegeta’s comfort zone it may as well have been on another planet and required a different kind of courage than he was used to. And to ask the next question.

“Kakarot.” Vegeta’s voice was gruff. “Are you…” _okay?_ Was the question.

Kakarot finally opened his eyes, but his forehead never left Vegeta’s. “Yeah,” he breathed out softly. “Vegeta...”

Something was growing in the air between them. Something that felt like old decaying things finally being carried by the wind, to leave fertile ground for something fresh and joyous to grow. Something felt like it was coming full circle, something that felt so good and so ... right. And- and weirdly, Vegeta felt… complete. Whole. When he hadn’t been lacking in the first place. 

The unusual feelings were making Vegeta panic, so he drew back slightly without fully letting go. Surely Kakarot could feel his discomfort, surely Kakarot could understand how much it had taken for him to do this. Maybe it would help make the next part easier.

“Vegeta, that… was nice,” Kakarot said. His eyes shone with some emotion Vegeta couldn’t identify, something that made his boldness withdraw and embarrassment come back. He dropped his hands away finally and took a slight step back, coughing to cover it up.

Kakarot seemed to interpret something out of that, because his soft smile became a more mischievous one. “What?” Vegeta snapped half-heartedly, hackles rising.

“You’re cute when you’re shy, Vegeta,” the other saiyan teased.

Vegeta glared at him. “Shut up, Kakarot.” His tone was a warning, but he didn’t need to say more - he and Kakarot both knew they were at the limit of the boundary of what was familiar.

The prince drew a breath, turning back to the task at hand. “Kakarot. I need to take your blood sample. I-” Vegeta amended. This had to be willing, voluntary. “May I,” he indicated the needle, “may I do this?”

Some of Kakarot’s anxiety seemed to return, but it didn’t have the same forcefulness as before. Vegeta waited with bated breath. He didn’t know what he’d do after all this if it didn’t work.

And this time it was Kakarot who held out a hand silently, his eyes screaming agitation, but also levels of trust that Vegeta couldn’t believe was genuinely directed at the prince. But this was Kakarot, who pulled off things people couldn’t believe.

It was a quick piece of work in the end, almost anticlimactic with what it had taken to get to that point. Yet something between the two had fundamentally changed. 

* * *

An incredulous Bulma found Goku’s blood sample in her office much later. As she called her doctor to take the sample away to test, she wondered aloud at the miracle that the left wing of Capsule Corp was still intact, and resolved to tell Vegeta that he would be the one to administer the vaccine they would develop.

"Safe Space - this trust between us" by Stardust Steel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goku so innocent. "Yes I’m terrified of needles, nothing to do with flying into a pit of needles to save you” (from the Fusion Reborn Movie)
> 
> 1\. My first fan art for DBZ and my own fics :3 i'm a bit happy with this one, so wanted to share. I know it isn't perfect, but Please be kind ><
> 
> 2\. So sorry for the late update. The last two weeks have been hell and exhaustion in its purest, most malevolent form. Life has hit me hard and have had to work 15-16 hour shifts at work. not good for a writer, or a relationship, or anything generally. Finally taking some much needed time to recover.
> 
> It would mean the world to me if that touched you enough to review. it really would. but if not, thank you for stopping by to read these babies :)
> 
> Ps for those asking, Agent Oblivion will be updated sometime this coming week, hopefully :) i am in editing process at the moment.


	4. D- Danger, Dominance, Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At New Year's eve, Vegeta suffers a panic attack for unexpected reasons. Goku may be a freak in the sheets, but he is a gentlemen in the streets, and will not let Vegeta suffer the night alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm "stardust-steel" on Tumblr or "stardust_steel" on Instagram, I'd love to chat any db/kakavege/life things with you and also post my art there :) come find me!

**D- Danger, Dominance, Devotion**

Earth is a planet with pointless, weird customs, and its people love an excuse to celebrate anything and everything. Vegeta has long reconciled himself to this fact.

But he really has to question this one.

“Why do you celebrate the turn of another year? It’s just another day. I don’t see the significance.”

Vegeta has of course seen and heard the commotion of New Year’s eve every single year since he’s been on earth, but this is the first time he chooses to participate.

The fact that it is almost a year since Kakarot has been back with them is merely a coincidence. Nothing to do with Vegeta’s sudden involvement, nothing at all.

Bulma, who is in the process of ordering yet more food for their insatiable guests, turns to him with a surprised but pleased look in her eye. 

It is a look makes Vegeta uncomfortable, but he understands her surprise. It isn’t often that the prince is curious enough to ask to clarify something about Earth, rather than straight away making negative judgments. 

“It’s like...a symbolism of renewal,” Bulma explains. “New year means new resolutions, letting go of past regrets, all that.”

Vegeta raises one eyebrow. “Right. And what does renewal have to do with blowing stuff up?” he gestures to where Trunks and Goten are excitedly dancing around what he understands to be a box of fireworks.

“The lights are pretty?” Bulma shrugs, her smile turning into something slightly evil. “It’s just fun?”

“Are you asking me or telling me?” Well, Vegeta supposed he can’t claim all credit for Trunks’ love of explosions.

The heiress smacks him on the arm good-naturedly. “Just go out there and have some fun,” Bulma orders.

“I’ll go find Kakarot and punch him, then,” Vegeta deadpans. He regrets it immediately when Bulma’s grin just _widens_ , and knows he’s walked right into another bout of teasing. 

“Aww, Vegeta, that's so sweet!” Bulma makes cooing noises. “I’m gonna tell Goku you said you enjoy being around him!”

Vegeta’s face is aflame, but he still manages a witty retort. “Your nose would be growing longer for lying, woman,” he snips. Like that stupid Pinocchio puppet.

  
As he stalks away, he still manages to catch the sight of her cerulean blue eyes widening, first in surprise, then in happiness. He knew she would appreciate his reference to Earth culture.

Almost a year now, since the events of Babidi and Kid Buu, since everyone had been brought back. About a similar amount of time since he and Bulma had agreed to raise Trunks as friends, rather than a couple. 

Ironically, their relationship vastly improves without the pressure of Earthling expectations of standard parenting.

It helps that Vegeta is trying to be a better person and father. Hugging Trunks for the first time when he believed he would die soon was the trigger. It is hard for him, enough to combust a blood vessel or two, but definitely worth the pain. The next time he dies, he does not want to have similar regrets.

Months now, since Vegeta and a certain Earth-raised saiyan have become whatever they are.

The battle with Buu , the moment after gazing up at Kakarot’s thumb up , is what did it. Finally, Vegeta manages to find a measure of peace he hadn’t known he was looking for.

A warm presence sidles up against his side. Vegeta crosses his arms, trying to pretend as if he has not been subconsciously tracking that particular ki almost all night. Almost all of the moments he is awake, in fact.

After 7 years of the familiar ki being gone, compounded by their recent fusion, he can probably track its owner even from all the way across the universe. 

Kakarot smiles brightly at him. The smile that can raise storms, level cities. Maybe even save a damned soul. The larger saiyan’s gaze tracks slightly downward due to the slight difference in their height. It both embarasses Vegeta and secretly makes him feel safe. The prince of all saiyans didn’t need anyone’s protection, most certainly not his rival’s.

But... it is… nice, to be gazed upon with such adoration rather than degradation, even if it is adoration Vegeta isn’t yet sure he deserves. 

“Hey, ‘Geta.” One of the rare occasions Vegeta will allow the use of the nickname.

Vegeta smirks back. “Hey yourself.” 

Finally he has accepted his existence on Earth, his place by Kakarot’s side, and Kakarot’s place by his. It only took 10 years, give or take a few.

Sweeping his ki sense around and understanding that no one is paying attention to them at that exact moment, he allows the smile to turn into something softer, something only Kakarot ever gets to see.

It isn't as if the others do not know this thing between them, whatever it is. Vegeta doesn’t feel the need to keep it secret. Kakarot deserves better than that, is worth more than that. 

And it took this long for a reason: once the prince commits, he will not turn back. But still it felt like a piece of Senzu after a long, bloody battle; the first sip of water after a long voyage that lacked resources. Not fragile, but too precious to be taken for granted.

“How are you not cold?” Kakarot asks.

Vegeta shrugs. “Don’t need it.” The younger saiyan is wearing a ridiculous orange scarf with a matching coat, bright and eye catching, just like Kakarot himself. Even Capsule Corps’ insulation doesn’t manage to disguise the fact that it is the dead of winter in West City.

But Vegeta is used to extreme temperatures. Except for a light jacket, he has not put on any layers. Saiyans run hotter than humans with their high metabolism, and besides, it is not like he isn’t used to the cold. 

“A saiyan has no need for accessories, huh?” Kakarot says teasingly.

"Certainly not a prince."

"Says the one who wears gloves all the time."

"Battle gear doesn't count," Vegeta huffs, raising one haughty eyebrow, but the smile on his lips linger.

Kakarot's smile softens too. As joyful as it is, there is something shy about it. 

Vegeta tries not to feel too fond.

Kakarot is never stingy with his show of emotions and affection. While Vegeta doesn’t share the same freedom of expression, and certainly doesn’t wish to, he recognizes its rarity and appreciates its worth. He has learnt that something frequently expressed does not make it any less meaningful, and those who think otherwise are fools. Including Vegeta’s past self.

“Dad, dad!” Trunks whizzes past him, the green hue of the wreath around his neck clashing horribly with his purple hair. Goten is a small tornado that is hot on his heels. “Have you seen the fireworks Mom created?”

His son's excitement is only rivalled by the other young hybrid. “Yeah, it’s so cool - we get to start it using ki!”

“Yeah, we get to blow shit up!”

"Trunks, Goten," Chichi admonishes, catching on to the curse word even from across the room. Vegeta is mildly impressed.

Kakarot grins at Vegeta, not particularly caring about their language, and the prince can’t help returning it. His face is going to get a muscle spasm at this rate, being more used to scowling.

But the enthusiasm of the twin terrors that are the boys as they bounce around is infectious.

The jovial, social atmosphere is not Vegeta’s style, but Bulma and Trunks love it, love this. And Vegeta has blown himself up for the continuation of their lives before - giving up his eardrums for something like this is hardly a sacrifice. 

...He is sure if Bulma or Kakarot can hear his thoughts, they would not be very happy with him.

The latter is currently holding up a dark blue woven scarf. “V, you’re going to catch a cold like that. Here-”

Before Vegeta can scoff, or say no, something warm and fluffy slings around his neck.

And suddenly, Vegeta can't breathe anymore.

Noise fades away. Everything is a haze.

Something feels like it’s closing in on him. 

The sensation makes him want to scream, but he can’t. It is stuck in his throat.

The memories come flying in. Buu’s fingers, texture like drying clay, wrapping around his neck in a stranglehold. 

Janemba’s tail grinding all the bones in his neck together, as his body is whirled about like a ragdoll. 

Frieza’s cruel laugh sounding in his ears, the lizard-like tail a faint sensation around his neck. Almost like a lover’s caress, but somehow more suffocating than the others because of how utterly broken and defeated he had been.

He hears someone shift behind him, and Kakarot’s voice comes through.

_Vegeta?_

But… it sounds so far away. Disembodied. 

Vegeta blinks. Maybe no one spoke? Isn’t he alone? Maybe he imagined it.

His breath is too short . It feels like he is suffocating. Dammit, if he could just take 

-one 

-deep

-lungful-

There is noise around him, like people, a lot of people, cheering. Or were they screaming?

But they don’t seem to be there? 

Vegeta’s not sure. Not sure if it’s actually people he sees.

His throat is starting to burn, but even then…

Is it? What is happening?

He can’t breathe.

_  
Dad?_

_Vegeta, are you okay?_

Yes. No. Everything is pressing in. 

But there is nothing around, so what was pressing him?

He can’t remember.

Everything is too much. Everything is numb. 

He feels strangled. He feels nothing.

...

_Guys, I forgot something - me and Vegeta are just gonna get it quick alright?  
_

_Wait, Goku-_

_-Bye!_

A warm hand grasps his. Vegeta doesn’t fight it. 

Why? What is the point? 

Nothing has a point.

He needs to breathe. 

_You don’t deserve to,_ Something whispers at him. _Drown_ . _Die._

**_Yes. Please._ **

-and suddenly the air pressure changes. Something feels different.   
  


_Vegeta?  
  
_

Who is speaking?

_Can you take a deep breath for me?_

Should he reply? Can he? He thinks - 

**_I- I can’t -_ **

_  
Vegeta, I’m just going to put my hand on your shoulder, okay?_

There are warm hands on his shoulders. Something in his mind rears desperately, anchoring towards the sensation that something is real, here, he is here. 

After a moment, a warm touch grazes against his forehead and stays there. The twin sensations of touch ground him. 

Who is this? Where is he?

Who is he?

As the numbness begins to recede, terror strikes. He pulls himself towards that source, he’s fighting, fighting-

And finally Vegeta comes back to himself. He lets out a shuddering breath, gasping. Slowly everything seems to fade back in, almost painfully overstimulating his senses. And he comes to find himself gazing into Kakarot’s eyes, their foreheads pressed close together. 

Kakarot’s hands on his shoulders move to cup his face. From the haze of Vegeta’s mind, something lights up. There is a fit of desperation to anchor himself. Vegeta reaches out suddenly. His gloved hands find Kakarot’s broad muscular back, grasping almost viciously until their chests are flushed together.

To his credit, Kakarot doesn’t yelp or balk. The younger saiyan only allows the movement, never breaking eye contact with Vegeta. 

Vegeta takes greedy lungfuls of air in, his chest heaving against Kakarot’s. Something in the younger saiyan’s steadiness grounds him. 

“Hey, V,” Kakarot says softly, pressing their foreheads a little firmer together in greeting. “Welcome back.”

Vegeta doesn’t respond immediately, opting to slow his rapid pulse.

He is coming back into awareness of his surroundings. There is a soft breeze, some rustling leaves. The mildness calms him. 

Along with the waking of his senses, comes the burning sensation of shame. Vegeta feels his face begin to flush, and he is struck with the desire to hide his eyes from Kakarot’s too perceptive ones. But he cannot break away their contact when they literally have their foreheads grazing eachother’s.

Kakarot seems to understand. “Hey, none of that here, okay?” The larger saiyan draws his head back, letting one hand fall away, leaving the other one cupping Vegeta’s cheek. It is just enough to allow the prince to turn his head slightly, though Kakarot doesn’t let him completely look away. “There’s nothing to be ashamed about - it’s just us.”

Vegeta realises that this is true. There is no sign of the other Z fighters. The sun is just setting here, unlike Capsule Corp’s earlier ink- dark sky.

It seems that Kakarot has transported them to one of his and Kakarot’s favoured training grounds, perhaps in an attempt at giving Vegeta some privacy. The prince can’t help but feel grateful at the younger saiyan’s thoughtfulness. Even so, in an attempt to regain some of his dignity, he pushes himself slightly away from the comforting warmth of Kakarot’s larger frame.

There it is, the burning shame, and the residue of terror that lurks underneath. Vegeta is trying to push both away too, but it is not as easy.

\-----------------------

The moment he places the scarf around Vegeta's neck, Goku immediately knows something is wrong.

Vegeta’s ki, usually a reassuring flame of power and solidity, begins to spike and pulse. Then it flickers like its owner is rapidly dying. Goku would have been in a right state of alarm if he isn’t standing right in front of Vegeta. He pulls the scarf away immediately, but the prince is still as frozen in shock. Or in time.

He doesn’t seem to be breathing.

Goku makes a hurried excuse and first transports them far away, knowing that Vegeta wouldn't like anyone to see him in this vulnerable state.

It is an automatic choice to pick one of their favourite places to spar, and it helps that it is somewhere warm, with no change in season. No winter, no snow. Starkly different from the temperature of West city where Capsule Corp is.

Vegeta is still not breathing.

Goku wants to hold him, wants to shield the prince from whatever flashback he is clearly experiencing, but he is afraid that an embrace would only set off claustrophobia and make things worse.

Instead Goku approaches Vegeta as carefully as he would a wounded animal, and maybe the prince is. He asks for permission to touch Vegeta, worried that the prince would react violently to the breach of his personal space in that state, but there is no response. Finally Goku takes a risk, fumbling to provide comfort like a blind man trying to lead and give directions.

Thankfully, Vegeta feels it, feels him. And starts breathing again.

Now they are stuck in this strange embrace, and the prince seems to be trying to both assume his normal haughty stance, and trying to burrow himself into disappearing. It’s adorable, but sad. Goku treasures every moment he is allowed to see of the more expressive sides of Vegeta, but this is one moment he would have happily skipped if only for the smaller saiyan’s wellbeing.

The hand that is still cupping Vegeta’s face gently thumbs his cheekbones. Vegeta doesn’t like being treated like a fragile thing, as he himself doesn’t, the proud creatures they are, and that has resulted in a couple of misunderstandings between them. But this is uncharted territory, and Goku is unsure, so he opts to be soft. He would rather understand than assume, and until then he will tread lightly.

“Vegeta?” Goku keeps his voice gentle. “Do you want to tell me what that was about?”

He is careful to phrase it like a choice, keeping his body language open. He and Vegeta are both not good with words, but they both pickup on the unspoken very easily. It has been a learning process for the both of them to balance both, but it is something Goku has happily attempted. The right person is worth the storms.

Vegeta’s proud profile in his hands is silent for a few moments. Then, a slight movement in the negative, a very small shake of the head.

“Okay.” Goku clamps down on his disappointment. It isn’t about morbid curiosity. Or even about trust - he knows that Vegeta trusts him. It is something Goku treasures, even takes pride in: trust from the other saiyan, for whom trust is a scarce resource, rarely given and sadly rarely taken. 

It is more that Goku wants to apologise, for whatever he had done to trigger it. And understand what set off the strong-willed warrior prince, so that maybe he can help prevent it next time. 

But he can’t, because Vegeta doesn’t want to talk about it. So Goku will respect that. Simple. 

To just leave it at that, though, is beyond him. “Um… Can… can I hug you again?” Phrase it like a choice, not force. Hopefully Vegeta will read Goku’s non-verbal apology, even if he doesn’t want or ask for it. 

There is a pause. Then, in response, strong, lean arms wrap around Goku’s shoulders, drawing him close.

* * *

It isn’t like Goku can’t make his own guesses as to what has sent Vegeta spiraling into a panic attack, when the prince has undoubtedly experienced much worse triggers. He has seen some of Vegeta’s memories, after all, and Vegeta his, through the fusion. While they are left with mostly impressions of feelings rather than specific events, some memories create an imprint so deep that it would be hard not to see them and understand their cause.

But he does not want to know what Vegeta wouldn’t have wanted him to see of his own volition. And he would rather know by understanding, than making assumptions from fragments of memory. Vegeta will tell him when he is ready to tell him.

What Goku knows is that the next time he sees Frieza, or any of the Ginyu Force.... while he doesn’t think he is so far gone as to resort to actual murder, he doesn’t plan on letting the tyrant or his lackeys escape without a proper knuckle down.

In some ways fusion is an act of merging more intimate than sex, the act of letting someone not just into your physical space, but your mental space as well, and trusting them not to take everything and break it.

It is not something Goku would willingly undergo with just anyone anymore, and he almost wants to laugh at his past self’s consideration of fusing with Hercule or Gohan, for instance. 

Well, to be honest, Goku thinks to himself with a wry smile, he might still fuse with someone other than Vegeta if it is to save the world, but nothing short of that.

Quietly, Goku makes a mental note from then on not to sling his arms around Vegeta’s neck - at least without a proper indication first, not to surprise him with unwanted accessories, and just -generally not to hold the prince’s neck too tightly or roughly. With the sole exception of spars, for that last one - knowing Vegeta, the prince wouldn’t appreciate the kiddy gloves treatment in battle mode. The same way Vegeta would patiently walk Goku through or away from any proximity with a needle, but doesn’t hesitate to pierce him with sharp Ki projectiles during their sparring matches.

* * *

That night, they make love. They don’t speak much whenever they do- saiyans have always been about feeling, instinct, and their touch carry songs and hold entire conversations, more than speech ever could.

Goku brushes his lips down Vegeta’s jawline, around the shell of his ear. He loves the small gaps and whimpers that escape the proud prince, sounds only Goku has the privilege of hearing.

That night Goku is feeling wild, fierce. He wants to draw it out longer, wants to hear Vegeta cry out for him, plead for him, need him. Wants to feel Vegeta’s trust, by placing his full self in Goku’s powerful hands. But Vegeta’s pride is already in a fragile state, his mind still brittle from the flashbacks of the morning, and so Goku instinctively knows tonight is not the night for such dominance, but for gentleness and care.

He still manages to draw out a scream of pleasure from the prince, and that is all, that is enough. As they lie in the afterglow, he pulls his weight off so that they lie beside each other. He doesn’t want Vegeta to feel trapped or get nervous. 

But Vegeta’s ungloved finger follows Goku’s movements, and a moment later, a tentative hand brushes his.

Goku's breath catches. It is rare for Vegeta to initiate any form of physical touch, so Goku treasures it when he does. Vegeta knows this, and Goku notices that since they had that very embarrassing conversation, the prince has been trying more, something which Goku truly appreciates. 

Goku reacts immediately to the hesitant touch. He grasps the prince’s hands, marvelling at the firm grip, marvelling at the way they slide so easily and perfectly together, marvelling that he doesn’t have to tamper his strength the way he used to with ChiChi. Loving as she was and as hard as they tried, it never felt natural, it couldn’t work.

He and Vegeta do.

The moment of reverence and awe is shattered a second later as soft lips brush Goku’s temple. He almost chokes in surprise at the feeling. There is a quiet chuckle in his ear, Vegeta’s breath making him feel all sorts of warm inside. 

“Thank you,” Vegeta whispers, his voice hoarse and fainter than usual, like the words are rarely used. And they are. 

Vegeta is so, so brave, He has never lacked courage, but that night… after the day.... 

Goku - smiles, his heart feeling so aglow it could burst right out of his chest. He responds by drawing closer to Vegeta, crushing his lips against the prince’s, trying to convey all the admiration and pride and protectiveness he felt for the smaller frame under him. He continues kissing the prince until they are both breathless. 

When they finally have to surface for air, Goku continues to trail his lips along Vegeta’s jaw again, relishing the warmth of the prince’s form. He runs his arms around, the strongly corded shoulder, the muscled curves of Vegeta’s body. Loving the sounds Vegeta makes. He pauses to suckle at the pulse beneath the prince’s ear. 

Too near his throat. 

The prince inhales sharply and makes a sound, not one of pleasure. The instant it reaches his ears, Goku springs away.

Vegeta is trembling, watching Goku with half-lidded eyes, a look he can’t read. Goku is terrified, Did he trigger another avalanche of memories? Has he unintentionally harmed Vegeta?.

The moments that pass feel like forever. Then Vegeta reaches out, bare hands framing the sides of Goku’s face with a tremor that almost breaks Goku’s heart.

The prince draws Goku back to him. Goku understands instinctively how important this moment is, and lets himself follow, careful not to make any sudden movements.

Vegeta kisses him first, taking control even here, until he is guiding the younger saiyan back to where they last left off.

Goku carefully resumes the trail of his kisses across the prince's skin, caressing with his lips, until he pauses to hover where Vegeta’s pulse is. And Vegeta… tilts his head, exposing his throat to Goku. 

Carefully, very softly, Goku kisses Vegeta’s neck. There is a sharp inhale, but Vegeta’s body language, the way he allows Goku more access to the skin of his throat, and gentle pressure of his fingers against Goku’s jaw tells the younger saiyan to continue. So he does.

* * *

Hours later, in the moments before the dawn breaks, Kakarot teleports them both to another favoured training ground. From what Vegeta understands, this one is in a different timezone, so that it is still night, so that they are still able to celebrate the break of New Year’s, in their own time.

Vegeta still doesn’t care much for it, but he does care for the presence of Kakarot beside him, even as he tries not to admit it. The fact that he still allows Kakarot to hold this hand gently probably gives that away, though.

They cut a strange figure on the plains. One a prince, the other a third class, one a ruthless murderer, the other a beloved saviour. They are two warriors who are never meant to have crossed paths. But in this universe, they do.

Both of them have gone through their own of suffering ,and heartbreak, and learning and healing to get to where they are. And Vegeta doesn’t believe in deities, but he does thank whatever in the universe allows him to hold Kakarot’s hand like this, despite all the atrocities he has committed in his previous lifetime.

All the atrocities he is yet to redeem himself for. All the sins he plans to atone for… but that is a story for another day.

Right then, he is content to watch Kakarot’s silly smile widening , eyes alight with joy. “3-2-1! Happy New Year!” Kakarot cheers with all the enthusiasm of a child, like his youngest son, like Vegeta’s family has for such trivial, sentimental things.

Vegeta raises his gaze, boredom breaking as the first sparks fly up into the night. They burst into a brilliant array of colours in an explosion of sound.

Through his time on Earth Vegeta had never really got what all the fuss of new year was all about. But at that moment , as the fireworks burst into a spectrum of colors in the gorgeous backdrop of the sky, lighting up red among the silhouette of Goku’s spike, he thought he could understand, just a little.

And the next morning, when Kakarot softly kisses his neck in the gentle light of dawn…. Vegeta is quietly surprised, that the decrepit little thing he calls a heart is apparently still alive enough to have the capacity to melt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It would mean a lot if that touched you enough to review. but if not, thank you for your time, for stopping by to read these babies :)
> 
> Special thanks to Agent_38_Scribs who inspired this through our discussion of Vegeta's phobia of worms and what could possibly trigger it; and Agent Pigeonton who wanted to think about the boys being sweet and soft for a moment :3 
> 
> I was worried that Vegeta is OOC here, and kept fretting about changing different parts...but he is meant to be softer, more fragile after his anxiety attack. No one shakes off trauma like nothing unless they're two-dimensional characters from a shounen anime, who COULD HAVE BEEN THAT DEEP.  
> I believe that Goku is fairly emotionally perceptive, even though Z and S may clash against eachother soemtimes in this.
> 
> Feel free to throw me your headcanons and what you want to see, I will try to fit them somewhere in what I have planned.


	5. E- Ends with You (Life, This World, and Everything in Between)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goku and Vegeta share a tender moment after the battle against Moro. Goku the saviour isn't aware that he now has a protector too. Vegeta the destroyer gets to use his powers to heal. My alternate take on what happens post-Moro battle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in Chapter 67 of DB super, after the victory against Moro. My own version of events.

**E- Ends with You (Life, This World, and Everything in Between)**

_**-(Post Moro-battlefield, pre-relationship)-** _

“Goku! You did it!”

“You’re the best!” 

“That was a real nail biter!”

Vegeta watches, still hovering in the air, as the Dragon Team all run towards Kakarot, joy and relief evident in their features. Kakarot’s hair has reverted back to its usual obsidian now, no longer the intense white glow of Ultra Instinct. That form has never failed to make Vegeta shiver when he sees it, and not because of sheer power alone.

But that’s not a useful thought at all, so Vegeta wilfully discards it.

“Glad you’re still with us, Dad,” Gohan says, clearly thinking back to the Cell Games. Even Piccolo, who has chosen to hang back at the edge of the crowd like Vegeta, is smiling, watching their antics. 

There is a celebratory feeling in the air. Vegeta supposes he can understand this. In terms of scale of threat and ability, their fight against Moro isn’t anything the team hasn’t faced before, but it is still memorable for two reasons. First, that the battle took place right on earth, their planet. Unlike many of their recent threats, this felt and was a lot closer to home. Secondly, it was the most involved the **all** Dragon Team had been in recent memory against **one** seemingly main villain (the TOP was a battle royale against multiple crafty, strong opponents, so it didn’t count.)

Moro’s biggest threat had not been his power, but his apparently unlimited potential to grow it, as Buu had been able to. It had gotten pretty close to them losing it all at one point, but as always, the Dragon Team pulled through.

Well, almost all the Dragon Team. Vegeta’s sure Trunks and Goten would be less than happy once they heard they’d been left out of fighting Moro and his goons, half-saiyan as they are.

All that’s done and gone, no one died permanently - except Merus, which is regrettable, because Vegeta had respected his capabilities and level-headedness as a fighter. Once again, Earth is fine, Earth is saved.

So the Dragon Team is right to be happy. Vegeta doesn’t **_do_ ** happy, but he should at least share their relief too, right?

And yet…

And yet.

Vegeta feels uneasy. His heart is not at peace, his instincts are buzzing. L this isn't resolved yet, like something even worse is about to come.

He also has a bone to pick with Kakarot.

Gold-tipped boots landed on the ravaged Earth with a soft thud. “Kakarot.”

Kakarot glanced around, and as he meets Vegeta’s eyes, his cheerful grin turned into a softer, gentle smile. 

Both Vegeta and Kakarot are equally and ridiculously bad at words, if in different ways - Kakarot all too much of the wrong words and Vegeta too little of the right ones- so reading the unspoken has always been their best method of communication. Maybe it’s a saiyan thing, maybe it’s just a Vegeta and Kakarot thing. The point is, they read each other’s tells like a saiyan picks up new techniques now, and if it had been anyone other than Kakarot, Vegeta would have been utterly terrified. 

_I’m glad you’re okay._

_Hmph. Someone has to watch your sorry ass, you clown._

Vegeta allows himself to acknowledge something in his own chest loosening - it has been a while since they’ve seen each other, after all, with Vegeta training with Pybara on Yardrat and Kakarot with Merus. Loathe as the prince is to admit it, he and Kakarot spend enough time in each other’s company (and thoughts, if not company itself) that any time apart feels like a long separation. It might be unspoken, this... thing between them, the strange attraction and protectiveness, but unspoken does not mean unacknowledged, at least for saiyans.

Besides, the last time he and Kakarot had seen each other, they’d been pretty much about to die on New Namek against Moro. 

So it is okay to feel this, it is okay. _Stop panicking,_ Vegeta ordered himself silently, _it’s fine to care, you already fell for an idiot so don’t be one yourself._

Vegeta didn’t allow any of what his thoughts to come through, instead tightening his scowl.

Kakarot’s gaze impossibly turns more fond, and it’s aggravating to remember what the younger saiyan's laughingly mentioned before, that he just finds Vegeta’s eternal grumpiness endearing. It makes it hard for to stay mad at this idiot, but Vegeta's always been a trier, and he’s trying his level best.

They had been so close to losing - the Earth, their families, _each other_ -

“ _ **When**_ are you going to learn that giving a Senzu Bean to an enemy is never the right answer?” Vegeta snaps out of nowhere. The non-sequitur makes Kakarot blink. 

“Um…?” The younger saiyan scratches his head in that nervous tic of his that Vegeta knows too well. Vegeta notices how the muscles of his arms and shoulders elongate, how powerful and solid he looks in the sun, and has to avert his gaze. It doesn’t help that Kakarot’s apparent confusion makes his stupid baby-face even more … adorable. Argh. “It’s… not?”

“Are you asking me or telling me, Kakarot?” Vegeta’s trying really hard to get a grip on his anger and use it, but it’s not as effective a tool as it used to be. He blames an orange-clad idiot for this. 

“Um…

“Don’t you look at me like that - You could have finished off Moro earlier, but you didn’t, you had to go and give him a Senzu instead.”

“Vegeta’s right, Goku,” Krillin agrees, and Vegeta has to conceal his shock as they both look towards the sheepish monk. “That was way too close.” Krillin laughs nervously. “Haven’t we done this before? Like with Cell? Didn't we agree it was a bad idea?” 

“We… didn’t?” Everyone else will read it like Kakarot’s being dumb, but Vegeta knows him well enough to know he’s trolling on purpose. Sneaky, cheeky bastard.

Krillin looks like he just realizes that even though Kakarot’s dumb reply merits incredulity, it is actually a truthful one. Vegeta empathizes.

“Well, it _**is**_ a bad idea to give Senzu beans to the enemy, Goku,” the monk explains patiently. “Just because you don't kill 'em, they’re not going to just go and quietly become a good guy."

“Yes, I definitely didn’t,” Vegeta deadpans, voice so dry that the desert separating Capsule Corp and Mt Paozu must be seething with envy. It startles a laugh out of Kakarot and even some of the others, but as always, Kakarot is the focal point of Vegeta’s attention.

Kakarot is -there's no other word for it - beautiful when he laughs. He's always been... easy on the eyes, right to their very first fight, but when he laughs, the whole world seems to brighten with his joy. That's probably enough of an alarming signal. Vegeta could stare forever, so of course he does the opposite, and averts his gaze.

“Well, you **are** the most stubborn person I’ve met, Vegeta, and I’ve known Bulma for most of my life,” Kakarot's saying teasingly, and Vegeta has to scoff to cover the warmth that’s spreading and liquefying his insides.

"Says the one who insists on letting his enemies go when every single time it's never ever failed to backfire against him."

Kakarot tilts his head. “Everything turned out okay in the end, everyone's alive...so... it's... not that bad...?”

Vegeta lifts an eyebrow. “I’m sure Merus wouldn’t agree,” the prince says, aware that even if necessary, it is a cruel thing to say. As much as Vegeta’s come to the so-called good side, some wicked tendencies will always remain in him.

Kakarot’s face droops in sadness, and Vegeta almost regrets it, but the younger saiyan needs to hear this. Vegeta wants him to remember that there are boundaries to compassion, because the idiot’s already got himself hurt too many times, even killed, because of his stupid bleeding heart. Some of them from Vegeta’s indirect facilitation, too. 

But Kakarot’s always been stubborn, in his own way. “No,” Kakarot says suddenly, “Merus would have agreed with me.” Vegeta lifts both eyebrows this time in incredulity. “He told me he believes in reformation, just like I do - he thinks everyone deserves a chance.”

“Look where that got him. Now he’s worse than dead.”

Kakarot winces. “Vegeta...”

“You need to learn when your bleeding heart is going to get someone hurt," Vegeta keeps his voice sharp, because he's very sure no one else is going to tell this soft-hearted idiot this, not to this degree of seriousness, even though they profess to care. "killed, or worse. Especially if it’s you." Wait, what? No, that isn't supposed to come out. Vegeta skips right over to the next bit. "Actions have **_consequences_** , Kakarot, when are you going to remember this?” 

Kakarot is gracious enough to let Vegeta off his slip-up for once.“...That’s why I have you with me, right?” Kakarot says cheekily. 

Vegeta glares. Evasive bastard, doing it so easily that pieople tend to let him move the topic. Not Vegeta. “Meaning the next time another egomaniac supervillain comes along, you’re probably going to do it again, aren’t you?”

Kakarot sheepishly rubs the back of his head as he laughs. Vegeta doesn’t know why he bothers - they’ve had this argument before, many times, in many forms - from Buu to Broly to this, it is not something he and Kakarot will ever see eye-to-eye on. The prince would blame it on their different backgrounds, but even Krillin sees it the way Vegeta does, and yet he is closer to Kakarot’s innocent upbringing than Vegeta’s bloody one.

Kakarot’s just different, the prince supposes. Always choosing to see the best and good in everyone. Even as he detests that soft squishy marshmallow heart, it’s also exactly what draws him to the younger’s orbit.

After all, saiyans naturally gravitate and crave a challenge, and what better challenge is there than the exact opposite of you?

“You’re an idiot.”

“I dunno, I’ve done some smart things,” Kakarot grins. “Like... I got you on our side…”

Vegeta wrinkles his nose. Is that supposed to be a supporting statement? His retort is cut short when Gohan butts in, “Oh yeah, Vegeta! That spirit fission thing you can do now is really cool!”

Kakarot’s evasiveness has worked. Vegeta huffs, crossing his arms and turning away.

He doesn't understand and doesn't agree with Kakarot's continuous ability to trust and give chances, despite being hurt so many times. But Vegeta's learnt the hard way that forgiveness does more for the bearer than the receiver, and not understanding something doesn't necessarily mean not respecting it, however begrudgingly.

And well, if the idiot's not going to watch his own back, Vegeta will do it for him, with a great deal of reluctance and a lot of pain. Kakarot is a pain in the ass, after all.

_If you’re going to insist in being an idiot, I’m going to be right up there and control the damage._

* * *

_**-(In Galactic Patrol HQ, victory celebration)-** _

Several days later, as Goku, Vegeta and Jaco are called to receive their medals from the Galactic PAtrol, they find out that Merus isn’t, in fact, worse than dead.

Merus is very much alive, if only a mortal now. Though how much of a lifespan he has as an "angel-species-who’s-not-an-angel-anymore-but-still-a-species-of-one", Goku doesn’t know, doesn’t understand and doesn’t really care. 

He **_does_ ** care that Merus seems genuinely, genuinely happier than Goku's ever seen him, and not just because he's alive again. Merus clasps Goku’s hand and tells Goku and Vegeta that as a past-angel-species-thingy, he doesn’t have to maintain neutrality any longer and can get involved in mortal affairs. It means that the Galactic Patrol agentis able to protect the galaxy as he wishes, without the previous threat of being erased from existence hanging over his head anymore.

So all’s well that ends well! 

Goku’s always been a naturally cheerful person, more prone to smiling than brooding anyway, so it’s nothing new for him, but he can’t help grinning even wider when he sees that even Vegeta is having trouble keeping a smile off his face when he hears this. The prince should know a thing or two about being able to choose one's life path, after all. The atmosphere of the Galactic Patrol’s HQ ship is celebratory and warm, as the old looming much-feared villain that is Moro has been dealt with. Even better, one of its most revered agents and leaders joins them from beyond the dead. Goku's sure Merus will do even greater things after this, he can't wait to see what adventures they come up with next.

Goku enjoys it all - the music, the mingling around, the photo-taking, the strange-looking-but-delicious-tasting food. (There could definitely be more of it though.) There is minor confusion when he shakes hands with the green octopus-looking thing that is the Galactic King, and Goku only too late remembers that it isn’t actually the King’s hands that he’s shaking, but well, they look like just another pair of tentacles, which are an octopus’ version of hands, so surely it’s okay, right?

Well, anyway. Bored now, Goku looks around for Vegeta, missing his steady presence. Technically not much time has passed for everyone else. But Goku has spent the equivalent of 6 months in the hyperbolic time chamber training with Merus, between when he last saw the prince to now. Merus is a brilliant teacher and sparring partner, but he isn’t Vegeta.

In that bottomless white void, literally _**everything**_ had reminded him of Vegeta, which isn’t surprising considering they had spent a good 3 years there together. 

When he spots the prince, Goku can’t help feeling something fond as he watches that proud face try to remain aloof. It’s so typical of Vegeta to stay out of the crowd, even when the celebrations are technically in his and Goku’s honor.

Vegeta’s picked a corner that’s secluded enough to observe without being observed, one where the doorway is in full view. Goku knows it's so he can observe who exits and enters, but he doesn’t really know what the prince plans to do with that observation - they’re in the vacuum of space after all, and even if they were back on earth it's not like they can’t sense ki. But he understands that some habits die hard, and this is undoubtedly one Vegeta’s picked up from his time on Frieza’s ship, back when his scouter was all he had to rely on. So Goku’s careful not to block Vegeta’s view of the doorway, even as he saunters up to the prince. 

“Soooooo.” Goku grins, nodding towards a happy Merus speaking to Jaco in the distance. “Everything did turn out fine after all, right?”

Goku’s referring to their earlier conversation about Senzu beans and **consequences** (he can still hear Vegeta's tone saying those words) back at the battlefield post-Moro. Anyone else might have been confused, but of course Vegeta instantly knows what Goku’s talking about. 

Vegeta rolls his eyes. “Rub it in, why don’t you.” He’s acting bad tempered, but Goku knows the prince is just as glad as he is that Merus is alive, and no one permanently suffered from the battle. “ ** _Fine_ **, Kakarot, you win this time, but it’s entirely luck, remember that.”

“Mmm.” Goku uses one of the tactics he always uses with Vegeta when he doesn’t really want to fight, and that’s to agree with the prince without really agreeing. Sometimes it’s enough to appease Vegeta, but not today, it seems.

“Kakarot, I’m serious. Next time, don’t spare your enemies because they will find a way to turn in back on you- or to **someone else**.” Goku winces. He knows Vegeta’s done that on purpose - Goku would disregard anything of consequence to himself, but if it involves someone else getting hurt, Goku is more likely to listen. Smart Vegeta. 

Goku pouts. Vegeta’s expression does something weird. “Don’t give me that look, idiot! You know I’m right. Every time you’ve done something like this it always goes from bad to worse. The fight against Moro, Cell, Frieza - hell, even with me.”

"Vegeta..."Goku’s starting to regret bringing this up. He’d only been meaning to tease Vegeta, because he loves it when he gets to see the prince’s warmer side. But Vegeta’s little frown is deepening, and Goku knows he’s probably thinking about some dark old deed in the past that he’s still punishing himself for. Whoops. Time for a Vegeta-distraction.

“Aw, come on,” Goku whines, purposely using the childish tone that never fails to earn him an exasperated scowl. It works- Vegeta’s still looking irate, but at Goku instead of at himself. “Stop thinking so much, it always turns out fine.” It may be naive to Vegeta, but this is how Goku sees the world, so.

“What if one day it doesn’t?”

“We’ll deal with that when it comes!” Vegeta doesn’t look convinced, his scowl getting deeper. Nooooooo. “C’mon, lighten up 'Geta! Nothing happened this time, no one died!”

Vegeta doesn't bother correcting the nickname nowadays. “Everything has to end eventually, Kakarot.”

Goku smiles sunnily at the prince. “Even your bad mood?”

Vegeta glares. Goku keeps smiling in hope. “You’re unbelievable." After a moment, the terseness in the prince’s shoulders loosen a little, and he gifts Goku with a rare upturn of his lips. "Can you at least try to see things from my perspective?” 

“Okay, sure.” Goku is in the mood to be cooperative, so he bends his knees slightly to bring his eyes level with Vegeta’s. “Is that better?”

There is a beat of stunned silence. Goku just barely catches the fist that attempts to slam into the side of his face with the velocity of a comet, and likely the force of one too. He begins to laugh loudly even as he staggers back, as Vegeta follows up with several punches, each one more incensed than the previous.

Even in this secluded spot where Vegeta’s chosen to lurk, they might be attracting some attention soon, but Goku doesn’t really care - he only has eyes for Vegeta. He is being forced back, but he doesn’t mind, in fact he is shaking with laughter, his heart is singing with joy. The prince is hissing spit fire angry, his eyes blazing with beautiful fury and oh Kami, Goku truly missed this, missed _him_.

Then Vegeta plays dirty and tackles him to the floor of the spaceship and it is Goku’s turn to yelp and try to throw some punches back. He fails when Vegeta manages to pin his shoulders down and straddle him. The prince smirks, knees framing Goku’s waist on each side as he leans forward. 

“Not feeling so tall now, are you?” Vegeta taunts, face mere inches away from Goku’s own. 

Goku is not thinking about the prince’s frame at that time. In fact, he is barely thinking, barely breathing. As he gazes up at Vegeta he feels his face heating up. Their proximity makes him nervous, and it feels like everything is slowing down. Vegeta seems to be realising the same, the look in his eyes morphing from triumphant to something else entirely, more uncertain. His grip on Goku’s shoulder loosens as if he is about to let go.

Impulsively, unthinkingly, Goku bucks his hips and rolls them over, so that now he is the one on top and straddling Vegeta. Vegeta cries out in angry protest and doesn’t go without a struggle, but once their positions are reversed, it seems like all the fight leaves him. They find each other’s eyes and get lost there, each second more intense and intimate than the last.

Vegeta is looking at him with something softer, more tender. Something in disbelief like he can’t quite this is happening, like Goku is the centre of his world and nothing else exists right then. Looking at the beautiful, proud profile beneath him, Goku cannot stand how much love he feels. Slowly, gently, he presses his forehead against Vegeta’s, watching the dark gaze for a snarl, a flinch back, the slightest sign of a no. 

He finds none. 

Instead Vegeta closes the gap between them and presses his lips to Goku’s. The gesture is soft, hesitant, like he is unsure, but something in Goku’s chest just- overflows - and he returns the kiss with all the fondness, the love he can muster. Vegeta gasps but doesn’t pull away.

Someone cheers, and the two saiyans break off to see some of the Galactic Patrol agents grinning at them. Jaco’s trying to take a photo, but Merus is firmly shoving the camera away, even as he smiles at the two. Vegeta’s face is flaming, but Goku can’t find it in himself to be ashamed - his heart just feels so full, he’s sure it’s showing in his grin.

The Vegeta-distraction worked, just not in the way Goku meant it to.

* * *

_**-(On New Namek, the Ritual of Gratitude)-** _

Vegeta places the shattered remnants of 73’s crystal on the soft blue grass of New Namek with solemnity that is almost unlike him. Goku watches, admiring the way the lean muscles of the prince’s shoulders move with both power and grace. Beside and around Goku, Elder Moori, Esca and the rest of the Namekian villagers are observing as well, all with smiles on their faces.

Esca (whose earnestness reminds Goku of a young baby Gohan) has explained to both saiyans earlier that this "Ritual of Gratitude" is a yearly ceremony. Done to show gratitude for further chance at life, and reverence for the cycles of the universe. Something like that. Goku doesn’t really understand it - he’s not sure if they’re worshipping a deity or just giving thanks to nature, but he sees that it means a lot to the Namekians. So he's trying to be on his best behaviour.

Esca has taken a great liking to both saiyans, particularly Vegeta since the prince saved the little Namekian baby from Moro, and it makes Goku really happy because someone else sees that Vegeta's really a heart of gold under that frowning exterior. To be fair, at this point, Goku thinks the only one who isn't convinced is Vegeta himself.

The young Namek has requested for them to be present for the ceremony if they could. Goku said yes of course, and Vegeta didn’t say no, so Goku took it to mean a yes and teleported them both.

It was Moori’s idea to add this last bit to their usual ceremony, as something symbolic.

Spirit fission, by Prince Vegeta IV, the one who had once killed their Namekian brethren, and years, mistakes and forgiveness later, now stand as one of their saviours. Such is the cycle of the universe.

With one sharp downward jab, Vegeta separates the last of the accumulated energy from the crystal. In a brilliant burst of light but a curiously muted sound, like a baby's first breath, the prince makes a precise motion, graceful hands sending it back into the core of the planet.

In its place, the tiniest little tree Goku has ever seen sprouts out, its little blue leaves a shade lighter than the grass around it.

Vegeta bows his head in dignity and in reverence, and somehow, Goku thinks it's the most majestic he's ever seen the prince. The Namekians around them murmur in a rising crescendo that Goku understands to be their version of applause. 

Some more rites and things take place, but it’s hard for Goku to pay attention - he doesn’t mean to be disrespectful, but it’s hard for him to sit still and pay attention for long. The one time they talked about this, Vegeta stared at him like something’s making sense, and instead of rolling his eyes, the prince had just told Goku it’s nothing to worry about, so Goku doesn't. 

So Goku just does his level best to sit still here. He waits until it seems appropriate enough, then bounds up to Vegeta who meets him halfway, “Vegeta that was so cool to watch and the tree was so cute and the light was so pretty,” Goku chatters away happily, and Vegeta’s watching him with this small little smile on his face, so Goku’s not going to stop, “Spirit fission isn’t easy but you mastered it so fast, and to that level, and you even figured out how to reverse it and turn it into a spirit bomb too, it's so cool!”

“Hn. It’s a useful skill to have.” The prince pauses. “Perfect against a fused adversary, like Zamasu or Buu or Moro, if we ever have to face something like that again." They probably will, it goes unsaid.

Vegeta’s acting all cool about it, but Goku knows better - he’d seen it in the fight against Moro, both in the time Vegeta was giving Moro a brutal beatdown while sending energy back to New Namek, and when he was sending Goku all that energy for the last burst of Ultra Instinct. He sees it even clearer now in the prince - it's the first time Vegeta’s powers are used to nurture and heal instead of destroy, and Vegeta gets to watch it as it happens; and Goku can see it, see Vegeta mending and healing in ways that wasn’t possible before.

It’s Vegeta’s technique, it’s his thing, just like Ultra Instinct is Goku’s thing. And it can be destructive, but with the prince, it isn’t. 

Namek's sky is turning into dusk, setting the horizon in shades of red that is both like and unlike Earth. When he glances around the planet he helped heal, Vegeta's expression of awe and wonder is beautiful to see -there's no other word for it. Goku thinks he can stare at the prince forever, so of course he doesn't, and turns his gaze away. It may not be obvious, but Son Goku is capable of shyness.

Goku sneaks another glance. He’d always thought red suited Vegeta, why his favourite look for Vegeta is SS god.

Vegeta looks almost angelic right then.

Unbidden, Goku remembers the prince's words to Moro, in the heat of their battle:

_"Of course I'm going to hell. At the end of the day, I'm a bad guy."_

Goku doesn't understand why Vegeta still feels he's a bad guy, why he still feels the need to atone for his past. Some people would say genocide on a planetary scale is enough reason, and Goku would argue that they've saved the planets and the universe several times over by now with Vegeta's help, so doesn't the scale balance out? But apparently, what is saved doesn't equal to what is destroyed. Vegeta said this to him before,Goku doesn't get it, but he doesn't plan to.

They've literally seen the back of hell and through it together, and Vegeta deserves better, has done better, is doing better, and so Goku will _**fight**_ whoever he needs to when and if that time comes.

Goku says his next thoughts aloud, because he thinks Vegeta deserves to hear them. “You’re amazing, Vegeta.” He notices Vegeta’s flush, and has to grin, but he’s smart enough not to mention it. Not right then, anyway -Goku can tease some other time.

After all, he’s planning on spending a lifetime fighting against, with, and alongside the prince. 

* * *

_**-(Mt Paozu, just us)-** _

That night, they sit quietly in the darkness of Mt Paozu's forest, backlit by fireflies, and the light of the moon. The silence is comfortable, not awkward, as it's always been between them.

As he reaches out to links his gloved fingers with Kakarot's own, Vegeta is ...surprised by how at peace he feels.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This originally started out with an angrier tone from Vegeta's POV as to why Goku doesn't yet understand that giving Moro/any enemy a senzu when the first thing they will do is kill everyone and destroy everything the moment they're healed. It was not meant to be romantic or understanding. 
> 
> Then, as I wrote it, I realized that while Vegeta will never understand or agree, I feel that Vegeta is probably going to accept Goku for who he is, be resigned to fixing any messes Goku makes along the way, because it's that very same compassion that saved him. The only way (I think) Vegeta would stay angry at Goku, be angry enough to throttle him etc, is if Goku's decision to spare his enemies one day leads to Vegeta's family (alongside everyone else's, but esp. his own) dying or harmed for permanent. WHICH MAY BE something coming up... >:D
> 
> Also, I just wanted to see some Vegeta-Goku and Namekians interaction and brain the part where Goku grabs the Galactic King's "junk for the third time" - while I'm sure it's meant for comedic relief, I wanted to lampshade it here and use it to explore how simply and easily he takes things. ^^
> 
> Would love to hear your thoughts (OvO)>Thank you for taking the time to read and if you are inclined, to review :)


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